Felt so frustrated with life!

I don't know what to do with my life!!

I don't know why am i made in the first place!

The more i asked questions, the more i felt like dying away.

There is nothing on this earth that really spur me on to live.
What should I do?

I gave Him a deadline that i felt like giving up now..
50 seems so far from me.

When can i end it ?
When can i stop this search?

I don't want to be like one of them,
living, reproducing, ending.

I don't have a purpose to live,
I refuse to reproduce another of my kind,
I refuse to go through life like the rest... eat, work, play, sick, die.
I refuse to believe that we are only made for a cycle.
I refuse to believe that we are made only for his pleasure viewing.
There must be something more to life!!

How come i come back to this point again..
When I would cross this hurdle?

I do not envy those who have a career..
for it comes to nothing at the end anyway.

I do not envy those who have a partner..
for it comes to nothing at the end anyway.

I do not envy those who have loads of kids..
for it comes to nothing at the end anyway.

Why are we here???? to live and multiply?
how are we different from the animals then?
perhaps they are better off without a brain that rationalise..

When would i die away?

When someone tells me he/she has a cancer and dying..
i ask why is it not me?
When someone tells me his love one died..
i ask why is it not me? when would it be me?
perhaps they are better off than us who continue to live.

those who live wanted to change things.. but how much can we change?
so what if we change things? all would be nothing at the end of the day.

when would i pass away.. ???
i am still waiting ...